By the time you've worked your way through all 50-ish of Rhythm Tengoku's ingenious and gently insane mini-games, matters will be much improved. Following this brief monologue, the robot samurai subjects you to a sort of rhythm test - pressing A in time to a beat with varying degrees of complexity - which highlights your musical inadequacy with Kawashima-esque chilling bluntness. Then a robot samurai appears and spouts all sorts of nonsense, of which, thanks to my extensive training in Japanese (consisting entirely of Taiko Drum Master and DDR), the only words I could understand were DANCE, DRUM and something that looked disconcertingly like INADEQUATE. You switch it on, perhaps whilst bored on a plane to France or, more likely, because someone's stolen the newspaper from the bog, and there's a nice friendly blue title screen and some lovely silly music. Navigating a game in Japanese is never exactly an easy task for the uninitiated, but upon first glance Rhythm Tengoku might appear more daunting than most.
